Sunday 18 March 2012

Regrets


   She loved him. She did. Yet fate was unkind. The Lord was unkind. She dint know how she was supposed to live now. Was she to remarry? Replace what she had lost?
       These thoughts were revolting. She had no one. No family,except him. Now that he wasnt there any more, purposelessness engulfed her. She was young. She could have had a brighter future,had she been a little less dramatic.
    She did realise her fault. Only when it was too late. For while she pondered about her circumstances, the excruciating pain of losing him faced her. The pain blinded her, untill she lost focus. She dropped to her knees, shaking, quivering, praying.
      She closed her eyes and prayed,something she wasnt used to. She was an athiest and a sceptic. She doubted everyone, including herself. He was the only exception to her doubting ways. His absence punched a whole in her heart. She usually wasn't one of those people who believed in heartbreaks when viewed on a screen. But now that she was experiencing it, all the overacting suddenly made sense.
     It wasn't like he was returning. He was dead. Death was the only permanent change. She had faced it before, but never in such magnitude.
    No one can ever fathom the pain she was undergoing. Her thoughts were waging a battle. She sought light, she sought knowledge. She sought reason to continue living. She found none.
     On an impulse, she stabbed herself to death. In her dying moments, she realised the consequences of her actions. She faced a final moment of self-loathing. She had just closed the book without reading the ending. She would never know what her life could have been like. With tears leaking out of her eyes, she felt the searing pain of the wounds and the darkness closing in on her. Regrets... Lots of regrets... Yet, it was too late to regret losing her life.

1 comment:

Abhyudaya said...

She should have been less impulsive. She was so flawed that she had to die. It's very sad but it's just.

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